Adventures with ADHD
The stories and lessons I share are true. I have taken artistic license to hide the identity of my children. With their privacy in mind, I have chosen not to use an identifier for myself either. I could make one up but since I can barely remember my real name some days, I decided to go without one. I love The Affinity Center for the work they do and the services they offer. I trust them with my stories, my family, and my secret identity. Death, Taxes, and Other People’s Opinions 11/12/24
We all know the saying, “nothing is certain but death and taxes”. I have found that other people needing to share their opinion is also certain.
Try it. Find a group of people. Any type of group will work. Big. Small. Friends. Strangers. They are all fair game. Now, make a statement; any statement. Beginner level statements might be: “Boy, it’s a nice day” or “I think we’ll have fish for dinner.” You probably will get a lot of agreement or maybe one brave soul will speak up about not liking fish. But mostly they will likely be okay with you deciding to eat fish or enjoy the day.
Are you ready for expert level? In that same group, let’s say you say “My child has ADHD, and we started him/her on medication”.
You are now surrounded by opinions and anecdotes that are great and small, pro and con. Didn’t know you had that kind of power, did you?
Guess what? You are not alone. With our son, we made the mistake of telling people we were thinking about starting him on medication prior to starting the medication. Everyone had an opinion, and since this was years ago, most of them were negative.
Here are some things I remember. If they had ADHD or an ADHD child, they had a pediatrician that mistook zombie effect for treatment. But mostly, they knew someone who knew someone that had a child with ADHD. Across the board, people appreciated the good that comes from modern medication and good doctors - Just not ADHD medication or doctors that treated ADHD; those were bunk. But mostly I loved (read with sarcasm) the looks. I felt like screaming “I said he has ADHD, not that he went out and killed the neighborhood pets.”
This is when I learned to employ my super response. “If he can’t settle his brain down enough to learn to read, then he will not be able to do much.” Mom for the win. People couldn’t argue with that. Okay, some did but I think their moms didn’t settle them down enough to learn to read!
Fast forward to our daughter. Many years had gone by, but the only thing that changed was opinions were split down the middle. More people acknowledged that ADHD is an actual mental health disorder. I still use my super response, smile sweetly and quickly file everything away in my mental trash. The only opinions that matter are mine, my husband’s, my child’s and our doctor’s. You know what is best for your child.
Operation: Diagnosis 11/4/2024
My son was diagnosed in 2nd grade, but we knew he had academic struggles in kindergarten. He was behind and struggled to achieve anything near grade level proficiency. By 2nd grade, the academic frustration resulted in disruptive behavior in class. At our first parent-teacher conference, his 2nd grade teacher asked about his ADHD. We had no clue what she was talking about. She was surprised that we were surprised. She strongly recommended talking to our pediatrician. We did.
He did testing through the pediatrician’s office in coordination with Children’s Hospital. The results were overwhelming. Anxiety, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity, and something else about authority. Luckily, we had an excellent pediatrician that explained the reason for all the results and how treating the ADHD would help with all the diagnoses.
Our pediatrician explained that she would not prescribe medication if we did not make some parenting and routine changes as well. We made the necessary changes for our son, and he started medication. Within three/four months, he was voted student of the month by his class peers. His grades and his behavior were improving greatly.
My daughter was in kindergarten. I showed up as a volunteer to read to her class. All her classmates were at group tables working on an art project. She was at an individual desk moving all around while doing the art project. Her teacher explained that she did better when she could move around while working and it was too distracting to other students when she was at a group table. I called her pediatrician when I got home.
By this time, we had a new pediatrician, but one with the same mentality. Medication only goes so far; it should never change a child’s personality and parenting changes are of upmost importance. Due to Covid, kindergarten was cut short, and first grade was a virtual (and actual) disaster. But since we intervened sooner, she was never as far behind as her brother. She still struggles academically, but most of the issues now are organization, anxiety and impulse control. We continue to work on it with a combination of medication, parenting, and a certain ADHD therapist that we love.
My family has been very blessed with great medical providers. As I talk with other parents, I realize how lucky we were to have two very knowledgeable pediatricians that knew personality and ADHD are two different things. We have been able to address different aspects of ADHD and receive age-appropriate solutions that rarely had anything to do with “just increase the dose”.
“Writing prescriptions is easy, but understanding people is hard.” Franz Kafka
The Intro 10/30/24
Hi! I’m a wife, mom, and general chaos coordinator for two children.
My son is 17 years old and has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was in 2nd grade. He also struggles with anxiety. He really doesn’t deal well with change and absolutely refuses to eat in front of people outside of our immediate family. He is also inquisitive, funny and once he is your friend…he is your friend for life.
My daughter is 10 years old and has been diagnosed since kindergarten. She has high energy that she shares with everyone, often missing social cues and boundaries. She has red hair and a matching personality. We call her our tornado of sunshine. She is very creative, can make friends anywhere, and easily forgives.
I, personally, have lived with depression and anxiety since I was 16. So, while it is different, I do know what it is like to have a brain that occasionally works against you.
I used to think that I was the only one with crazy kids, a crazy brain and a house that looked like something from the movie, Twister. Then I made a remarkable discovery - many other people feel THE EXACT SAME WAY. It is my hope that by sharing the stories and experiences of my family, others will feel like they aren’t alone either.
So, jump in the boat, hop on the train, or whatever travel metaphor works for you and let’s make the journey together.
The content used in this blog is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. All rights to the images, music, clips, and other materials used belong to their respective owners. I do not claim ownership over any third-party content used. I just have very little time and think Hollywood is great at one-liners.